Some love stories I know were so great. Romeo-Juliet, Siti Nurbaya, hmm, those in Closer movie, those in Susanna Tamaro’s books, in Love Stories section in radio, and many more that I know are fictions. At least semi fiction.
But today, a friend of mine told her love story. Somehow, it was shocking me for it’s the real thing. Happened in her life, in a close friend‘s life,and happened also close to my own life.
I think the most shocking part was because I know it’s real. Her feelings was so real. Her complicated situation was so real.
It was shocking because it’s real. The rest of it, I usually see in movies. Not so shocking.
In movies, I enjoy that kind of plot. I enjoy watching the chemistry between the actors. I enjoy guessing the end of the story. Just enjoying, not thinking.
In real situation, I was asked to think. To answer some ‘what should I do’ questions. To solve the next steps. To assure my friend’s feeling. Continue after page break.....
So the battle in my mind goes on.
Does the real love exist? How do we know if some unexplainable-very deep feeling to someone is the right thing to do? Can logic and love collide? Or do they never in same template at all?
And what’s love actually? Is it right to enjoy some forbidden passions? Is it right to let ourselves drown in a deep dilemmatic situation? Is it right loving someone and hurting some innocent lives at the same time? So, what’s right and what’s wrong?
How can we refuse such sweet temptations? Even a ‘till death do us apart - thing’ seems like nonsense to compare with the deep passionate feeling.
We cant put boundaries in love. We cant deny our deep feeling in love to someone. Even when we know we cant be with him at all.
How can we refuse the kisses we long for? How can we refuse such sweet-comforting caresses? How can we refuse our deep heart beating passion?
The battle within me surely exist, after she said, “I’m In love with a married guy”.
When I was trying to become myself, become her friend, become a lover, become an objective friend, become a professional.
Finally I answered,
“as a love-believer, I just can say, trust your heart. Enjoy the moment, free your feeling, but trust your heart, listen to it very carefully”
"sometimes a very deep passion can fade away so easily too"
“and somehow your heart will tell, what actually your heart look for. Passion? Companionship? Excitement? Or true love?”
but then we discussed so many things about her situation freely and she let go so many feelings and stories.
At the end of the discussion, she said weakly,
“I know, I made a mistake…”
so, what is L.O.V.E afterall?????!!!!
And the battle within me goes on….
Sintamira
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